THE DIARY OF A TIRED SOUL
by Abhishka
Summary: It is an OS based on a recent episode 'Deadly Abhijeet'. Nothing more to summarize than this. Please peep inside to know more.


THE DIARY OF A TIRED SOUL

 **A/N: Hey guys! I know you all are waiting for the update of 'TERE MERE DIL' and I promise I won't let you wait more. But I am a bit confused with the further plot.**

 **But no worries. Till I update that, you all can enjoy this OS written on the episode "DEADLY ABHIJEET". There was no OS written on it which disappointed me. But then I thought to write it on my own. I am trying a pure trio story for the first time, so please no eggs and tomatoes if you don't like it, hehehe…**

 **Though I have written that it is on trio, but it is more on ACP sir and Abhijeet.**

 **Enjoy reading.**

 _ **HASTE HUYE JAKHMO KO BHULANE LAGE HAI HUM…**_

 _ **HAR DARK KE NISHAAN MITANE LAGE HAI HUM…**_

 _ **AB AUR KOI JULM SATAYEGA KYA BHALA…**_

 _ **JULMO SITAM KO AB TOH SATAANE LAGE HAI HUM….**_

The OT bulb was blinking red. A person was moving to and fro in front of it restlessly. Another two persons were sitting on the bench near the OT. One of them was carrying a blank expression on his face which was highly disturbing the other one. Finally after a long silence –

Second person on bench: (softly and painfully) "Yaar Pradyuman, woh humara Abhijeet hai…. tumhara sabse jaahbaaz officer….. CID Mumbai ka Sharp Shine hai woh…. use kuch nahi ho sakta. Use.. kuch .. nahi .. hoga. Tum kyu itni fikar kar rahe ho?"

ACP: (in broken and helpless tone) "Nahi Salunkhe…. Is baar himmat tut rahi hai yaar…. himmat tut rahi hai. Pata nahi… kya hoga…. Mujhe bohot dar lag raha hai… bohot dar lag raha hai… Ek baat kahu tujhse Salunkhe… is baar na… mai chahta hu ki woh humse naraaz ho jaye… (Dr. Salunkhe was shocked at it) Haan yaar… mai sach me chahta hu ki woh humse naraaz ho jaye… hum uske gunehgaar hai yaar… gunehgaar hai hum… use hume kabhi maaf nahi karna chahiye… par kya karu yaar… uske bina kuch achha bhi toh nahi lagta na… woh chup ho jata hai toh… bohot takleef hoti hai… bohot jyada… par phir bhi mai woh takleef sehne ko tayyar hu… sari takleef sehne ko tayyar hu… par uski har takleef ab mai mitana chahta hu…. har takleef mitana chahta hu… woh jo saza de mujhe manjoor hogi.. jo saza de woh…"

He couldn't control himself any more and broke down. Dr. Salunkhe wrapped his hand around his buddy's shoulder.

Dr. Salunkhe: "Tum jaante ho na use…. woh kabhi hume sazaa nahi deta… kabhi nahi… haan, khud ko takleef de dekar chhalni jarur kar leta hai…. par hum tak us takleef ki aanch tak nahi aane deta…. kahi humse ruthne ke chakkar me woh zindagi se hi ruth gaya toh?"

ACP sir jerked and looked up. Yes, that man had learnt to gulp down those prickly spines of hurt down his throat without letting his single painful sighs being heard. And even after that, he had an evergreen, ever charming smile on his face. But this time, those sighs had been heard. Though unknowingly, but yes, ACP sir had come across them. But what he had heard were now not sighs, but had turned into screams, yells, shouts and calls…. so painful that even after shutting his ears and mind, they were able to break his heart into smittherens. ACP sir took out the diary from his coat pocket. It was titled – " **THE DIARY OF A TIRED SOUL"**.

 _Flashback:_

 _ACP sir was sitting on his rocking chair in his study. It had been four months since Abhijeet had gone on a secret mission. The look on his face when he was given this mission was still vividly present in the memories of ACP sir. He didn't seem to look…. confident about it. And the reason was laying in his hands now in the form of a diary and somehow in the form of his own realizations which he had in the past few days. Actually he had been accused of treachery to the nation. An important file containing evidence and info about a very dangerous criminal had gone missing from his custody. The HQ as well as DCP sir were thinking that he had sold himself to that criminal. But in real he himself had hidden that file in Abhijeet's mother's house. After a week long efforts, Daya along with the team had been able to find that file and present it to the court and prove ACP sir innocent. Though in that one week, the media people as well as the HQ people had behaved so brutally with ACP sir, that he was not able to forget those moments. And in that he had realized what his elder son went through each time he was accused of something. Here at least the people doing it meant nothing to ACP sir except colleagues but in case of Abhijeet the people doing it meant everything to him. His life began and ended with these people. ACP sir had truly missed his Sharp Shine in those days as if he would have been there, no one would have been able to even touch ACP sir. He would have stood in front of ACP sir as his shield._

 _After releasing from the HQ jail, ACP sir had straight away gone to Abhijeet's mother's house as when he had been trying to hide the file, he had came across that diary but since he was not having time, he hadn't paid attention to it. But now after releasing he had remembered it and retrieved it from that house. And right now, he was sitting with it in his arm chair. Four god damn months had passed since he had seen that face, those twinkling eyes, that flashy smile… But now he could see him, feel him through that diary. He had known it to be of Abhijeet from the name itself, God knows how. But he was confused with the name. He flipped the dairy and it opened to the bookmarked page. It seemed Abhijeet had finished something there. He went a page back. It was dated 30_ _th_ _December 2017. That day flashed in ACP sir's mind. What a dreadful day it had been. He started reading it._

 _Abhijeet's POV: "Congratulations, Abhijeet sahab, a very hearty congratulations. Waah bhai, matlab… kamaal hai aap. Yaadasht ka bahana purana lagne lag gaya toh naya bahana dhundh liya aapne toh jurm karne ka….. Apni split personality hi bana li. TONY….. Waah, laajawaab hai aap toh…. Yahi, yahi keh rahe honge sab is waqt meri pith peechhe…. yahi soch rahe honge, Salunkhe sir aur…. aur ACP sir bhi…. (ACP sir shook his head in no with teary eyes) Tumhe pata hai, unhone Daya se kya kaha? Kaha, '_ _ **Daya, tum apne dost par nahi, ek mujrim par.. ek khooni par nazar rakh rahe ho…. Ek aise aadmi par jiska maansik santulan bigad chuka hai… tumhe use rokna hai… aur uske liye agar tumhe goli bhi chalani pade toh tum peeche nahi hatoge…'**_ _Us waqt aisa laga ki mere kuch karna ka wait bhi kyu kar rahe hai yeh log? sidhe sidhe hi goli chala le… kissa hi khatam ho jayega… Par nahi… tadpate rahe mujhe…. itna ki dard ka ehsaas hona hi band ho gaya tha jab Daya ki laash dekhi thi tab….. Daya…. Tumhe pata hai is baar toh usne bhi mera vishwaas nahi kiya…. Pata hai kya kaha usne? Kaha_ _ **'Mujhe toh aisa lagta hai ki mai tumhe jaanta hi nahi hu… pata nahi mai jisse baat kar raha hu woh mera dost Abhijeet hai ya koi Tony…'**_ _Mere haath ki coffee bhi nahi pee usne… warna aise toh peeche pada rehta hai ki mai use apne haath ki coffee nahi pilata… Aur jab sab khatam hua toh kehne laga 'Sorry boss, ACP sir ka plan tha toh karna pada…' Plan tha? Har baar plan hi toh hota hai unka…. Pichli baar unke plan ke chakkar me Daya ke khoon ka ilzam laga tha mujhpar (referring to Giraftaar series) aur is baar…. sidhe khoon hi karva diya Daya ka mere haatho apne plan ke chakkar me… Are mai bhi ek insaan hu…. Ek aisa insaan jiski zindagi Daya naam ke ek dusre shaks me basti hai…. Par koi parwaah hi nahi karta…. Daya ne bhi shayad parwaah karna chhod diya hai ab… Purvi kehti hai 'Sir jo hua use ek bura sapna samajhkar bhul jayiye' Tab Pankaj ne kaha 'Bura nahi bhayanak' …. Sahi kaha usne… meri zindagi ek bhayanak sapna hi hai mere liye….. pata nahi kab yeh sapna tutega…. Ab toh sachme meri aatma thak chuki hai yeh bhoj uthate uthate… Nahi saha jaata ab aur… Par kya karu… Aatmahatya karne ki himmat bhi toh nahi juta pata…. Jane do…. ab toh roz ki baat ho gayi hai yeh… aadat si pad gayi hai… Bas sochta hu ki jab sirf yaadasht gayi thi tab hi najaane kya kya taane sune the…_ _ **Gandi machhali… Kalank ka tika…**_ _Ab is Tony ke aane se aur kya kya sunna pade pata nahi… Haan, par ek baat hai… ab se mai kisi par bhi dependent nahi rahunga…. kabhi yeh nahi chahunga ki koi mera vishwaas kare…. Daya se bhi yeh guzaarish nahi karunga… kum se kum dard toh kum hoga utna… Chalo…. chalta hu… aaj bohot sir kha liya tumhara… Shukriya mere dard ko sunne ke liye… waise bhi mere aas – paas ke zinda logon ko yeh dard na sunayi deta hai na dikhayi deta hai… toh ab toh tum bejaanon ka hi sahara hai…."_

 _ACP closed it and banged it on the table. After reading few lines, he could literally feel Abhijeet standing in front of him and yelling those words painfully. How much he had suffered…. even now he remembered that 2 - 3 year old incident… But now ACP sir knew that it was but obvious for him to remember that as even ACP sir would remember his painful time in jail for his entire life. He was in these thoughts when heard his phone ringing. He received it, but what he heard from the other side shook the floor beneath his feet. Abhijeet, who had been returning from his mission, had been attacked midway to his house by some goons. They had thought to kill him but had left abruptly seeing a car approaching. The man in that car had somehow called the ambulance and Daya to help Abhijeet. Daya had called ACP sir from the ambulance and told him everything. ACP sir took his car keys, called Dr. Salunkhe to be ready and left in his innova. Both ACP sir and Salunkhe had reached the hospital parking to find Daya and ward boys taking out Abhijeet from the ambulance. ACP sir was freezed looking at the state of his elder son…. It was not the first time he had seen that, but today… that father could see that the state of his son's body was also the state of his mind and heart…. or may be, worse than that. ACP sir immediately went and held Abhijeet's hand who was in semi – conscious state._

 _ACP: "Abhijeet, bachhe himmat rakho. Kuch nahi hoga tumhe."_

 _Abhijeet: (breathing heavily) "Sssorry… ssir… (ACP sir was confused at it) Mmmm… mai wwwaha na…. nahi tt.. tha jab aap… aapko me…. meri ja…jaru… jarurat thi…."_

 _ACP sir's grip on Abhijeet's hand loosened. He left Abhijeet's hand and Abhijeet was taken into the OT while ACP sir sat down on the nearby bench with a thud remembering the words of his son._

 _Flashback ends_

ACP sir looked up to find Daya still moving to and fro. He went to him and handed him that dairy.

Daya: (wiping his tears and composing himself) "Yeh… yeh kya hai, sir?"

ACP: "Abhijeet ki tanhaai chhipi hai isme, jo usne tumse jatani bhi chhod di hai."

Daya kept looking at him for a while. He took the dairy and was going to open it when the OT door opened. The doctor came out. Daya, ACP sir and Dr. Salunkhe surrounded him immediately.

Daya: (in teary tone) "Doctor sahab, kaisa hai mera bhai? Thik hai na woh? Hosh kab tak aayega use? Mai usse mil sakta hu kya?"

Doctor: (smilingly) "Mr. Daya, pehle aap toh shant ho jayiye. Abhijeet ji bilkul thik hai. Haan, chote gehri hai toh heal hone time lagega. But he is out of danger now. Hosh aane me 3 – 4 ghante lagenge. Hum unhe ICU me shift kar rahe hai. Aap me se koi do log yaha ruk sakte hai unke saath. Now please excuse me."

Saying this, the doctor left. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief. Dr. Salunkhe thought of leaving the other two with Abhijeet, so he told them that he would wait till he had seen Abhijeet and then would leave. The other two nodded. The nurse informed them about Abhijeet being shifted to ICU. All three went to see him there.

Daya was looking at his brother who was having so many bandages on his body. He remembered the time when that man had called him informing about his buddy and the time when he had reached there and seen his bhai fully covered in blood. His hands and legs had been shaking since then. It was now after seeing his brother at least out of danger that they had stabilized. ACP sir and Dr. Salunkhe were just starring at that face which right now seemed quite calm but had lots of pain and agony behind that calmness. Dr. Salunkhe pressed ACP sir's shoulder and left. ACP sir sat beside Abhijeet and started caressing his hair softly while constant tears were flowing down his eyes.

Daya suddenly remembered the diary in his hand and opened the bookmarked page. He spread a hand on those pages which seemed drenched in some liquid drops. But he knew as he was reading it that these was not just any other drops. These were the drops of pain, of agony, of frustration, of hurt and what not. That pain and suffering was beyond words. Even he shut it down and started crying with voice. ACP sir looked up at the condition of his younger son. He went up to him and secured him in his protective shell.

Daya: (cryingly) "Kaise, sir? Kaise ho gaya yeh sab humare haathon? Kitni aasani se tod diya humne humare Abhijeet ko… Aap… Aapko pata hai jab… jab maine usse us sab ke liye… ma.. maafi maangi thi na…. tab… tab woh sirf muskuraya tha…. mai pata nahi kaise… us muskurahat ka matlab hi samajh nahi paya tha tab…. Par aaj samajh me aa raha hai sir, us muskaan ke pichhe chhipa dard, uske pichhe chhipi takleef…. Sir, woh… woh kuch kehta bhi toh nahi hai na, sir…. bas maun vrat dharke baith jaata hai…."

ACP sir smiled painfully at his younger son's childish complaint. But he knew that Abhijeet was a reserved person since the beginning. He never liked to share his pain with anyone. It was Daya who sometimes broke that invisible wall and touched that soft part which made Abhijeet break down in front of Daya. But this time, even Daya had been the partner in crime with ACP sir. And this had caused too much agony to Abhijeet. Both of them tried to calm each other so that they could calm that hurt filled soul.

It was around 3 when Abhijeet stirred. After much struggling, he opened his eyes to find the two most precious relations in front of him…. Wait a minute… Relations? He kicked himself hard mentally for forgetting the promise he had made to himself. Daya and ACP sir were noticing his change in expressions. Abhijeet suddenly remembered their presence and jerked himself out of thoughts. He tried to sit up.

ACP: (angrily) "Kya kar rahe ho tum, Abhijeet? Ghaav abhi bhare nahi hai. Itna hiloge toh firse bleeding shuru ho jayegi."

Abhijeet: (smiling painfully at that concern) "Sir, mai… mai thik hu. Mujhe baithna hai. Please sir."

ACP sir looked at him and then at Daya. Daya just averted his eyes to hide his tears. ACP sir helped Abhijeet to sit up.

Abhijeet: "Kya baat hai, sir? Aap… aap kuch pareshan lag rahe hai?"

ACP: (looking into his eyes) "Jab mera beta pareshaan hai, toh mujhe pareshaani kaise nahi hogi?"

Abhijeet: (instantly and unknowing turning towards Daya) "Daya, sir kya keh rahe hai? Kuch hua hai kya? Bata na… hum milkar dekh lenge kya kar na hai, haan."

ACP sir and Daya were looking at him with shock.

ACP: (in painful tone) "Kyu Abhijeet? Kya sirf Daya hi mera beta hai? Tum nahi? Ya is baap se itne khafa ho gaye ki use baap manna hi chhod diya hai?"

Abhijeet was looking at ACP sir with shock and confusion. But then he noticed the diary kept on the couch and understood the meaning behind ACP sir's words.

Daya: (trying to initiate) "Abhi… boss, mai jaanta hu hum sab se naraaz ho. Tumhara naraaz hona jayaz hai. Mai tumhara dard samajhta hu, boss – "

Abhijeet: (in low and cold tone) "Daya, tumhe pata hai is duniya ka sabse bada jhoot kya hai? (looking into Daya's eyes) Kisika yeh kehna ke mai tumhara dard samajhta hu. Yahi duniya ka sabse bada jhoot hai. Aur ek CID officer ko jhoot bolna shobha nahi deta."

ACP: (trying from his side) "Abhijeet, mai toh tumhara humdard hu na. Maine bhi toh in kuch dino me woh sab saha hai jo tum sehte ho jab tum par koi ilzaam lagaya jaata hai."

Abhijeet: "Sir, kya aapne apni yaadasht khoyi hai? Kya aapke zehen me koi dusri shaksiyat basi hai jo kabhi bhi saamne aakar aapse koi bhi jurm karva sakti hai? Aur rahi baat jo in dino hua uski toh…. maaf kijiyega lekin mai aapko aapke hi shabd sunata hu ki har CID officer ko is sab se guzarna padta hai. Har CID officer ki zindagi me yeh pal aata hai. Ilzaam hum sab par lage hai, sir. Par mere maamle me baat alag hai. Jab bhi mujhe ya mujhse related kisiko kuch bhi hota hai toh meri yaadasht sabko is sabse bhaagne ka ek bahana lagti hai. Aap sab ke saath aisa kuch nahi hota sir. Sirf…. sirf mere saath hota hai. Jaise hi kuch hota hai, mai shak ke daayre me aa jata hu. Aur sirf seniors hi nahi, juniors bhi mujhe usi nazar se dekhne lagte hai. Ek pal me unka idol unka… unka suspect ban jaata hai. Aur mai begunaah rahu ya na rahu…. taane toh kase hi jaate hai mujhpar. Toh phir kaise aap mere humdard huye, sir, kaise?"

ACP sir and Daya were shedding numerous tears while standing with down head. They knew whatever he was saying was right but there was nothing they could do to ease that pain.

Abhijeet: (looking at their condition and sighing) "Rehne dijiye, sir. Yeh sab bohot lamba and na khatam hone wala kissa hai. Is par jitni baat karo utni kum hai."

Daya: (determinedly) "Nahi Abhijeet, aaj tum bologe aur hum sab sunenge. Jab tumpar koi ilzaam lagta hai toh… toh hum bolte hai aur tum sab chup chap sun lete ho. Aaj tumhari bari… Hum tumhare gunehgaar hai…. tumhare saamne khade hai…. jo sazaa deni hai de do…. hum woh bina ek koi awaaz ke maan lenge."

Abhijeet: (with sharp look) "Maar do mujhe. Apne haatho se goli chalakar. Aur uske baad mere sharir ko chhuna bhi mat. Dur se dekhna bhi nahi. Shayad us dard ka thoda sa hi kyu na sahi, ehsaas ho jaye jo maine saha tha us waqt."

ACP sir and Daya were looking at him appalled. Abhijeet smirked and averted his eyes. ACP sir went and sat in front of him.

ACP: "Kya tum mujhe apna pita maante ho?"

Abhijeet: "Maine dil ke ris – "

ACP: (in determined tone) "Mujhe sirf haa ya na me jawaab chahiye."

Abhijeet looked at ACP sir for a while, turned his face to other side to hide his tears and nodded. ACP sir's heart soothed a bit at that nod.

ACP: (joining his hands and adding tearily) "Toh aaj tumhara yeh baap tumse haath jod kar maafi maangta hai apne sare gunaho ki."

Abhijeet instantly held his hands and tried to say something but was stopped by ACP sir.

ACP: "Nahi Abhijeet, aaj mai bolna chahta hu aur tum mujhe nahi rokoge. Mai jaanta hu meri galtiyaan itni hai ki maafi se unka dhulna mumkin nahi. Par mai tumhe aur dard me nahi dekh sakta, beta. Na hi tumhe is baat ka wada kar sakta hu ki aage zindagi me mujhse aisi koi galti nahi hogi. Kyuki is ACP Pradyuman ne zindagi bhar sirf ek ACP ki duty hi ki hai. Sirf ek ACP ki duty. Mai ek achha baap kabhi nahi ban paya. Nakul ke saath jo hua usse mujhe yeh baat pata chal chuki hai. Baap ka farz na mai tab nibha paaya tha, na ab nibha paaya hu. Pata nahi, aage ki zindagi me bhi nibha paunga ya hai. Par iske chalte mai tum dono ko nahi khona chahta. Tum dono jabse is patthar dil insaan ki zindagi me aaye ho, uska dil patthar se pighalkar mom ban gaya hai. Shayad tumhara dard samajh nahi pata, par use mehsus jarur kar sakta hai. Use padh jarur sakta hai."

Abhijeet: (tearily and in childish tone) "Toh tab kyu nahi padh paaye aap?"

ACP: (smiling at that childish complaint) "Deri ho gayi. Maaf nahi karoge?"

Abhijeet nodded in no. But then he burst out crying. ACP sir immediately engulfed him in his loving and protective shell. Abhijeet was constantly venting out that pain that had been stored inside him since months. ACP sir was constantly patting his back but wanted his son to come out of his pain. And this was the only way. Daya too was crying seeing that beautiful relation. After sometime Abhijeet calmed down. ACP sir wiped his own tears and softly pulled Abhijeet out of that hug. Abhijeet too wiped his face and tried to compose himself when heard –

ACP: (softly but determinedly) "Nahi Abhijeet, aaj ke baad tum kabhi yeh mask nahi odhoge apne chehre par. Tumhe apna dard chhupana bohot achhe se aata hai. Aur isme tum itne mahir ho ke hume bhi peeche chhod dete ho tum. Isliye aaj ke baad tum kabhi bhi yeh sab nahi karoge. Apna dard baatna sikho bacche. Dard sachme baatne se kum hota hai. Aur haan… ek baat humesha yaad rakha… Yeh ACP Pradyuman bhale hi mushkil waqt me khulkar tumhara saath na de paye, par jab bhi aankhe band karke dil se apne is pita ko yaad karoge, humesha use apne pichhe paoge tumhe support karte huye, tumhe himmat dete huye."

Daya: "Aur apne is bhai ko apne saamne… tumhari dhaal bankar tumhari raksha karte huye…. Yeh wada hai mera."

Saying this, he hugged Abhijeet.

Abhijeet: (to lighten the situation) "Kya baat hai, Daya? Kaafi patle ho gaye ho."

Daya: (understanding that naughty tone) "Woh tum nahi the na, achha achha khana banakar khilaane ke liye. Ab tum aa gaye ho na, toh roz jayenge hotel, restaurant me… Waise bhi maine sabhi naye khule huye restaurants ki list bana rakhi hai taki tumhare aate hi hum shuruwat kar sake."

Abhijeet: (punching him lightly) "Sudhar jaa, mote. Pehle hi itna mota ho gaya hai. Ab aur mota ho gaya na, toh unfit kehkar nikal denge tujhse CID se humare DCP sahab."

And the trio laughed loudly at it.

 _ **KOI TUTE TOH USE SAJAANA SIKHO…**_

 _ **KOI RUTHE TOH USE MANAANA SIKHO…**_

 _ **RISHTE TOH MILTE HAI MUKADDAR SE…**_

 _ **BAS UNHE KHUBSURTI SE NIBHAANA SIKHO….**_

 **I know it was not that good, but it was my first try. Negative reviews accepted but please no abusive words. But please read and review so that I may know whether to try my hand here further or not.**

 **Please R and R.**

 **Thankyou!**


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